Virtual Insanity

Hello? Is anybody out there?

If you are, go ahead and picture this classroom. Twenty-four empty desks in untouched rows, each spaced two arms-length apart. The stinging smell of hand-sanitizer and disinfectant chemicals overwhelm. A small, green aloe plant grows in the window-sill, bending toward the sunlight that makes each desk gleam. Twice a day the light switches and door handles are sprayed, even though there are twenty-four empty desks in untouched rows, each spaced two arms-length apart. Not a soul in them.

Is this mic on? Can you hear me ok?

There was actually a day when the mic stopped working completely. Remember that? You were there — at least — it seemed you were. Twenty-four different little colored circles, each with their own initial to mark their presence. You are here. Or there. Where are you anyway?

Yeah, one of those circles on the screen is for you. I think yours is blue.

Is blue your favorite color? Do you have blue eyes? Have you ever been to the ocean?

I’m going to leave some instructions in the chat box now.

But your computer will lag, and then you’ll be kicked out of the meet to dissipate into the ether of other tabs. A dog named Spaz will put his head in your lap. It’s ok to pet him. Actually, you should probably give him a really good scratch under the collar. The kind of scratch that makes him tilt his head into that impossible position of 100% dog satisfaction. Then, it’s ok to just sit there in the ether of nowhere in particular. Sometimes you just need to be wherever you are.

I feel like I’m talking to myself here.

But nobody wants to tell me my mic is muted.

That, or else no one else is here either.